“Failure” redefined by the youngest female billionaire
Sarah Blakely, founder of Spanks, says that her greatest lesson in becoming the youngest female self-made billionaire was in being willing to fail. When she speaks to stadiums of women on business and leadership, she repeatedly emphasises that to be truly successful at anything you do, one must learn that there is a hidden blessing in everything considered to be a ‘failure’.
Women are more likely to stay in the ‘safe zone’
“I think very early on in life we all learn what we’re good at and what we’re not good at, and we stay where it’s safe” – Sarah Blakely
Most of us have probably heard of the statistic from the Hewlett Packard internal report that women will only apply for a job if they are 100% qualified, but that men will apply when they are just 60% qualified. As females, we are more likely to avoid failing at something for fear of being judged, criticised or losing our reputation. Our lower levels of confidence are also generally the result of years of self-criticism.
So, how do we start to overcome the fear of failing in order to pursue our greatest dreams and reach our full potential? It all comes down to redefining your attitude to failure by following these 4 steps…
1. Embrace failure; be bold!
Blakely says that she isn’t afraid of failing, rather her biggest fear is not trying something. But, she was fortunate to have received the conditioning growing up that enabled her to build this mindset. As a young girl, her father would ask, “What did you fail at this week?” and he would be disappointed if she didn’t have something. She says that this is what made her try out for things she didn’t think she’d be good at and it made her much less fearful to go outside her comfort zone.
So, shift your mindset from fearing failure to embracing it as a necessity for your success.
2. See failure as an opportunity for a better future
Rather than letting failure take you down, think of it as something that helps you to clarify your future vision and sharpen your tools for creating it. Blakely, who admits to being a terrible test taker, says that failure was a quick way of helping her to realise that she was off course.
This is reiterated by billionaire, Bill Gates, who repeatedly dealt with failures, even at Microscoft. Gates says that he failed so much that he could have easily fallen into depression. But, in learning from each failed outcome and seeing it as evidence of need for a change, he did not let the failures defeat him. Instead, he says: “When you are failing, you are forced to be creative, to dig deep and think, night and day.”
3. Keep your vision of success alive
If you haven’t taken the time to identify what you want for your future and what success means for you, then this is a great exercise to do. Identifying your vision of success is going to help you stay grounded when any fears come up. It’s going to help you stay on the path to your version of success - to take bold steps and action when it feels scary to do so.
So, have your snap shot of what success looks like for you and continue to focus on that image. Your subconscious will direct you to make decisions that will take you towards your vision.
4. Face your fears head-on by ‘fear-setting’
Tim Ferris, entrepreneur and author who wrote The Four-hour Workweek, talks about the concept of defining your fears and an exercise that he calls ‘fear-setting’. This requires listing all of your fears and then addressing each one with what may or may not happen if that fear were to materialise. He then writes down what he can do to prevent those scenarios from occurring.
Ferris believed that, by tackling his fears head on with fear-setting, he was able to condition himself to make the hardest choices that were required for his greatest successes. By addressing what scared him, he was able to sit with his fears and take action in order to move towards his greater vision.
Build confidence by taking action
“Don't be intimidated by what you don't know. That can be your greatest strength and ensure that you do things differently from everyone else” - Sarah Blakely
If you can relate to the struggle of overcoming your self-doubt and inner critic, use the above steps to take more action that scares you and lifts you out of the safe zone. Because when you fail and realise you’re ok, that builds confidence. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable and use failure as a vehicle for helping you to reach your greatest potential. And, keep in mind these wise words from Sarah Blakely - the things you fear could actually be your greatest strengths.